It’s that time of year again. Fresh off the month-long recovery from the holiday season, we are plunged right back into another one. (C’mon, President’s Day is cool and all, but do you really celebrate it?) No, friends. This is not the moment to reflect on the nation’s leadership. Instead, it is a day of chocolates, roses, jewelry, and to be frank, debt. Come with me, if you will, on a journey stretching across decades. This is the tale of how we find the way we celebrate Valentine’s Day depending on our budget and how it has evolved and changed with the years. Be warned, there will be grief, frustration, happiness, and no small measure of ‘huh, I didn’t even think about that’.
Here we go.
Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art…. I’ll tell you where Romeo wherefore’d to. He either feigned illness or pretended to go to work once he realized just how expensive a proper Valentine’s Day can be.
I’ll never forget that first Valentine’s Day date. Young, ignorant of the ways of the world, and with a small pocket full of loose change and small bills, we hopped in my dad’s truck and headed off to our favorite pizza joint. Don’t judge. Growing up in rural America is great, but there’s not much to do without driving. Those of you who’ve been in Holly Springs long enough know. We had a few dollars left after dinner, so we headed over to the drive-in.
I know. It’s all cliché. Dinner and a movie? Who does that anymore? Well, this was waaaaay before the internet so that’s what we did. All told, the evening didn’t cost much and for wide-eyed teenagers it was a great time. I remember thinking how easy it was. I had Valentine’s Day figured out. Oh, how wrong I was.
Flash forward to that first Valentine’s Day with the Mrs. The stakes were upped, and I was making more money and had my own car, but there was no way I could have prepared for the hurricane that followed. The days of pizza and movies were gone. Instead of an easy-going night where I lingered under the illusion of being suave, I was thrust into a whirlwind of bracelets, flowers, a steakhouse, oh… and don’t forget the chocolate-covered strawberries.
Love does crazy things, and I was victim #1. I went in full tilt and did what every good husband should. I made it a night to remember. We still hadn’t gotten around to children so the damage wasn’t as severe as it could have been. Both of us worked hard and even though I was constricted by an Army paycheck once a month, I’d figured it into the budget for the month. The memories alone were worth it.
Change is an inevitable part of life. We go through phases like the passing seasons. A few years later, we had our first child. Of course, she would be born in the beginning of February. At the time, the Valentine’s Day implications didn’t mean much. That came later when she got a little older. Then the month of February became a personal bane. I went from a carefree, single guy trying to make his way through the world to a husband and father in the midst of a full-blown financial crisis. I now had two birthdays to celebrate AND Valentine’s Day in the span of ten short days. Lucky me, right? (Author’s note: I was informed by my wife that I’m not allowed to accept sympathy donations at the time of writing this.)
Children, as we all know, change everything. From the way we think and act to the way we spend. We become more conscious of the world around us, even as that world barrels ahead on its own accord. With two wars in full swing and an economy being driven into the ground (thanks, in part, to the greed of the housing market), we were forced to dial back our V Day celebrations. I know what you’re all thinking. Why didn’t he try to blend all three special dates into one?
You clearly have not met my wife or daughter! Instead of going out to our favorite steak joint, I decided to take control of the kitchen. Now, anyone who knows me knows I love to cook. A quick trip to the market and I was rocking with the meal of her choice. Music played in the background. A vase of red roses sat on the island next to the small teddy bear (had to get something for the daughter, didn’t I?). The kitchen smelled like an award-winning restaurant. Sure, I had to spend an hour or so cleaning up after, but it was worth it to see satisfied smiles pushing mostly empty plates away.
After finishing the dishes, I brought out the container of strawberries and started melting two different types of chocolate. Like I said, we were budget conscious at this point. We not only had our daughter but there was a son lingering around there, too. Thankfully, he was born at the end of the summer.
Our V Day stayed this way for a few years until the girl was old enough to watch her brother for a few hours. The Mrs. and I headed back to our special spot. Gone were the cliched flowers and chocolates. We moved away from expensive jewelry so often shoved into a drawer and forgotten as the weeks stretched to years. What mattered now was love and the unending commitment to each other we made the day we slipped on those rings and said, “I do.”
This year, life has changed again. We find ourselves in the enviable position every frustrated parent longs for (and regrets once it arrives). We have become the fabled empty nesters. The little things still matter. I don’t mind spending again, even though we are once again being battered by a weakened economy and rising prices.
Reservations have been made. The wheels in my mind, perhaps a little dusty but ever creative, are turning again. This will be our first year without the kids, but there’s no return to those early years. Instead, we must mold and reshape our experience to fit our current needs. It’s still a matter of how much I can and will spend, but it is also what we are trying to get out of it. Like us, Holly Springs has changed. There are more options for everyone to consider. Valentine’s Day is upon us, and we each need to decide how to spend it, according to what’s in our wallets and what we are willing to spend.
There you have it. A Valentine’s Day exploration of making the day work for you according to your budget. Regardless of where we are from, what we believe, etc., we are bound by the cycles of life. Single, married, married with children, and empty nesters. Our budgets change with each phase, prompting us to reevaluate how we spend and why, but the one constant remains. No matter which phase of life you are in, when you are with that special partner—the other half of your heart—there is no substitute for showering them with the love they deserve.
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends.
