When Apex resident Amy Steeves was just 28 years old, she was diagnosed with angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma, an incredibly rare type of cancer that occurs most often in elderly patients. At the time of her diagnosis, her oldest son was just 10 months old. Six months of grueling chemotherapy sent her into remission for three years, during which time she and her husband had another baby boy. But then, the cancer came back and this time she required a bone marrow transplant. After looking for a perfect match in her family and in the national bone marrow donor registry, with no luck, her doctors found a perfect match for her from the international registry, in Germany.
In March of 2019, Amy began the arduous process of a bone marrow transplant. It started with more chemotherapy in order to completely wipe out her immune system. After three weeks of chemo, she began a 90-day period of isolation away from her family and friends in order to prevent infection. Her isolation required her to remain within 10 minutes of her treatment facility.
Fortunately, her mother was able to join her in isolation at a residential hotel near her treatment center, and her good friend and teacher to her children, Tish Strickler, helped with Amy’s children and many of the daily tasks of living, like laundry, meals, dishes, and shopping. Whatever was needed, Tish was there.
Every day, Amy’s schedule consisted of spending eight to ten hours in the clinic getting transfusions of blood, antibiotics, antifungals, and antivirals, followed by hours of loneliness and boredom. She required around-the-clock monitoring in case of fever spikes indicating possible infections or problems. If that happened, she would need to be rushed to her clinic or hospital.
Amy told us, “You get really bored. Watching Netflix is fun for about a week and then you’re like, now what?”
Once Amy’s community found out where she was and what she was going through they all
got together—neighbors, friends and even strangers—and assembled a box with 90 cards, letters, jokes, and little things to cheer her up and keep her going. There was something for every day she was away from those she loved and her two young boys.
She told us her box of ‘sunshine’ still sits on her dresser. “I see it all the time. And I just kept looking at it and thinking, ‘I have the best community.’ I saw so many other people that didn’t have that, and I wish that everybody could have that.”
That feeling of generosity received, and the desire to give back to those who are alone and struggling, created the impetus that launched Amy’s Rays of Sunshine.
She started in March on her transplant anniversary. Amy remembers, “I kind of crowdsourced on Facebook. I asked, ‘Does anybody know how to start a nonprofit?’ One of my friends I used to work with, her husband teaches nonprofit law at UNC-Wilmington. So, he helped me file off the paperwork. We officially launched on my transplant anniversary. It’s like your new birthday in the bone marrow transplant world. So, we celebrate that as my birthday, and it was kind of fitting to start it in March. Cards would come in the mail once in a while. I gathered them up. And when I had 90, we filled a box and I dropped it off. Before I knew it, we had hundreds of cards coming in. Word spread so fast; it just exploded. It was not what I had planned for, but in a wonderful, wonderful way.”
People were dropping off cards on her front porch at all hours of the day and night! So far, Amy and her friends have assembled and delivered about 30 boxes.
Amy told us of the first box they delivered and the reaction of both the patient and his wife. “The husband was brought to tears. I think he was about 32 and they have a two-year-old. His wife said to me, ‘I kept saying to everyone, how do people do this with small kids? And then I got your box, and I read your story, and I see that you did it. So, we can do it.’”
Amy includes her story in every box; it’s the first thing patients see. Plus, she adds a Day Zero card. She explains, “Transplant day is Day Zero. That’s what they call it. That’s when your new immune system life begins. So, Day Zero is like your new birth day. All the nurses celebrate and they decorate your room.”
The Day Zero card is another letter from Amy describing more of her journey and what they may expect. Many families were quick to share their thanks for Amy’s generosity:
“Thank you! Really THANK YOU! I don’t know how many times I have said ‘how do people do this with small kids?!’ But here we are doing it. You are an inspiration to us! Once we get through this we will be sending cards for your boxes. XOXO”
“Hi! I just posted about your sweet box. You brought my hubby to tears today during his birthday celebration. We appreciate your kindness.”
“Package received! He had a big smile on. He’s gonna go through the cards slowly to really enjoy all of them. Thank you SO much.”
Once boxes are completed, Amy delivers them to the social workers at Duke Hospital, and the SECU House in Chapel Hill where patients stay while having treatments and are living in isolation. Imagine countless people, strangers, reaching out to others and offering them a moment of warmth and kindness in the form of a card or a joke or a favorite quote or drawing. It is heartwarming. And you, too, can be a part of Amy’s Rays of Sunshine! The simplest way is to write a card and send it to:
Amy’s Rays of Sunshine
1457 Kelly Rd #202
Apex, NC 27502
Better yet, have a card drive at your school, club, church or temple, or just get together with friends over coffee and jot a few cheerful notes. Not sure what to say in your card? Amy says, “Just write like you would to your best friend or your sister. I think that’s more genuine and heartfelt. It’s much more impactful. These patients are so isolated and scared and sick. They’re feeling terrible, and this is an easy way to make a big difference.”
There are, however, some card-writing guidelines to follow as you get started (https://www.amysraysofsunshine.org/write-a-card):
Cards can be store bought or handmade.
Please keep cards encouraging and uplifting. Some patients will be experiencing a long duration of treatment and unknown outcomes.
Please avoid giving medical advice or treatment suggestions.
Cancer does not discriminate by gender, beliefs, or race and neither do we! Please keep your cards inclusive to all.
You are welcome to include inspiring quotes, funny jokes (humor is always appreciated!), or little pieces of yourself.
Here are some great examples of messages:
oStay strong
oYou are awesome
oI hope you have a good day
oYou are amazing
oYou are brave
oI believe in you
Feel free to write as much or as little as you want and include your first name and where you’re from, if you’re comfortable doing so. Cards and messages can be short or long—anything is appreciated!
Each card does not need to be in an envelope. This helps us ensure a variety of cards in each Rays of Sunshine box.
Amy emphasized that it’s important to keep the sentiments spiritually neutral as these cards may be sent to people you don’t know. Also, please refrain from using ‘get well’ or ‘feel better’ as much as we would naturally wish wellness for anyone. Amy gave a good reason for this advice. “I felt like when you’re sick or have surgery…you’d have a week or two and you’d be feeling better. A bone marrow transplant is so much more than that. I’m still dealing with side effects three and a half years later. For me, ‘feel better soon,’ or ‘get well soon’ made me think, well, I’m not going to get well soon. It’s going to be a fairly long time. So, we decided to make it more uplifting and encouraging.”
In addition to cards, Amy has an Amazon wish list where you can find all sorts of thoughtful gifts like postage stamps, socks, activity books, lotion, cards and much more. Alongside each item, the list indicates how many of each item is needed. (https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1KM7CI8Q1CCUL?ref_=wl_share)
If you prefer, you can help financially as well. From her website: Amy’s Rays of Sunshine is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that seeks to provide encouragement, positivity, and hope to young adult patients during bone marrow transplants by giving them a box of handwritten cards, notes, and other items during this physically and emotionally challenging time.
To give, visit https://givebutter.com/amysraysofsunshine.
For those moved to give the ultimate gift, the gift of bone marrow donation, please contact
https://bethematch.org/
As for Amy Steeves, what does she see for the future? “I’d love to see this go nationwide!”
